up up and away

A year has passed and now I stand on the brink, of returning to a world where I am surrounded by the paradox of everything and yet nothing being the same.
In a couple of weeks I will reluctantly give my hugs and, fighting the tears,I will say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that I hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left.
I will leave my best friends to return to my best friends.
I will go back to the place I came from, and go back to the same things I did last summer and every summer before.
I will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.
As I'll walk into my old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as I reflect on the way my life has changed and the person I have become.
You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand.
Who will you call first?
What will you do your first weekend home with your friends?
Where are you going to work?
Who will be at the party Saturday night?
What has everyone been up to in the past few months?
Who from school will you keep in touch with?
How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking?
Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of being an exchange student is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind.
I now know the meaning of true friendship.
I know who I have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest to our hearts.
I've left my world to deal with the real world.
There have been times when I felt so helpless being hours away from home when I knew my families or friends needed me the most, and there are times when I knew I have made a difference.
Just weeks from now I will leave.
Just weeks from now I take down the pictures, and pack up my clothes.
I will take my memories and dreams and put them away for now.
Just weeks from now I will arrive.
Just weeks from now I will unpack my bags and have dinner with my familiy. I will drive over to my best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end.
I will return to the same friends whose random texts and phone calls have brought me to laughter and tears over the year.
I will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year.
In just weeks I will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close.
And somehow, in some way, I will find my place between these two worlds.
In just two and a half weeks.
Am I ready?... I don't know.